Where Children Develop a Love for Learning

Why do Montessori classrooms have a hand washing basin and pitcher when children can just access the sink? Isn’t this an antiquated experience? To answer these questions, it helps to step back and explore why young children are drawn to an elaborate hand-washing process, the benefits of breaking down a series of steps, and what children are really accomplishing through the experience. Practical life exercises provide the foundation for Montessori early childhood programs. These practical life experiences are foundational and significant for young children’s development. Yet they often don’t receive the appreciation they deserve, especially with the many academic benefits of the Montessori sensorial, math, and language materials. To understand the value of practical life activities, we must understand the nature of young children, which Dr. Montessori did over 100 years ago. Why Practical Life? The exercises of practical life began to serve a practical need. Dr. Montessori had responsibility for children who were being destructive in a building in the slums of Rome. The proprietors needed to take care of the building, yet the children were unkept and out of control. As a doctor, Dr. Montessori knew the importance of hygiene in preventing illness. So, one of the first things she did was provide water basins and cakes of soap. Then, Dr. Montessori showed the children how to wash their hands and faces. What happened was unexpected. Once the children washed their hands and faces, they didn’t stop. They kept washing long after their hands were clean. Dr. Montessori said the children repeated the activity as if driven by an imperceptible force. Instead of stopping them, like adults are apt to do, Dr. Montessori watched. She wanted to see what would happen. With her curiosity, patience, and powers of scientific observation, Dr. Montessori observed a need that went way beyond washing hands. From these practical beginnings came a very significant discovery for Dr. Montessori. A Deeper Purpose Dr. Montessori discovered the fundamental difference between work as the adult experiences it and work as the child experiences it. While work for the adult brings on fatigue, work for the young child is energizing. This is because children under age six are in a period of self-construction. They are developing their intelligence, memory, language, will, and movement. Young children are motivated to interact with their environment to develop these essential aspects of themselves. Their goal is self-construction! Adults often don’t recognize this vital urge young children have to work. So typically, adults stop children from doing something because the action seems too tiring, too complicated, too messy, or because it will be more efficient and faster for adults to do it themselves. But something deep within is propelling young children to this kind of activity. So, in our prepared environments, we offer motives of activity that will match children’s developmental needs. One of these essential experiences is hand washing. The Benefits of Hand Washing as an Activity In addition to the typical handwashing at a sink, Montessori toddler and primary classrooms also include a hand washing station with an apron, a basin and pitcher, soap, hand and drying towels, a bucket, and sometimes even a nail brush or hand lotion when appropriate. We break down each step of washing hands: wetting our hands, washing with soap, rinsing, drying our hands, cleaning the wash area, drying the area, and restocking any necessary supplies. In the process of filling a pitcher with the appropriate amount of water, pouring the water into a basin, and emptying the basin into a bucket to take back to the sink, children practice crucial gross motor skills that help them with equilibrium and crossing their midline. As they learn how to get the fronts and back of each hand wet and lather each finger, their palms, the backs of their hands, and their wrists, they refine their visual motor coordination and fine motor skills. The hand-washing exercise also helps children develop a sense of order through a logical sequence of activities. Practicing this sequencing lays the foundation for children’s future ability to handle sequences that aren’t as logical, especially as they move into work with mathematical and language materials. A Love for the Process Young children love this care of self activity, which involves being able to access and use water in a purposeful way. They can often be found repeating the process over and over. Children can also become very focused on the drying process and show remarkable attention to detail as they take care to wipe up any drips or spills. As children master these steps, we introduce additional challenges, like using a nailbrush to clean nails or applying lotion when their hands are clean and dry. The process is lovely to observe, and we invite you to schedule a visit to see how hand washing helps children with the vital process of self-construction!

We’ve all experienced it. Those days when our children come home feeling the sting of a recess exclusion, a series of slights from a friend, or some other social discontent. They unload their hurt onto us, and we feel heavy with the weight of their pain. Childhood is a time of profound social development. Our children are navigating their social lives, and learning how to handle social struggles is a process that can ultimately build resilience, empathy, and problem-solving skills. Social challenges are a normal and essential part of childhood development. But that doesn’t make the process any easier (especially for us as parents!). Letting the Process Unfold When our children come to us and unload their latest story of social exclusion, teasing, or friendship drama, it is important to make sure they feel heard. This means our job is to reflect back what we hear in an empathetic way, while also acknowledging any hurt or complex feelings. In practice, this may sound something like, “Wow, it sounds like you were feeling really hurt when your friend stormed away from you during the game at recess.” Our children need to know that they can vent and that we will listen. Avoid Getting Too Involved We are hard-wired to want to shield our children from pain. As a result, instead of just listening and acknowledging, we can tend to hold onto our children’s hurt feelings and may even feel compelled to intervene. Unfortunately, our intention to alleviate the pain can often have unintended consequences. Sometimes, our intervention may be that we regularly check in with our children about the social dynamic. For example, the next day asking, “How did it go with your friend during the game at recess today?” We don’t realize that our children have often moved on from the previous day’s hurt. Childhood friendships and social interactions ebb and flow multiple times a day. But when we keep harking back to hurt, we inadvertently do what psychologist Michael Thompson calls “interviewing for pain.” In doing so, we refocus our children’s experience on one incident they have likely mostly forgotten. Each day, when we ask again about that friendship or social interaction, our children either realize that this topic really gets our attention and/or begin to think of themselves as victims. Support Problem Solving Instead of “interviewing for pain,” we can ask questions that support our children’s problem-solving skills. So, after acknowledging the hurt feelings when our children first share them, we can plant some problem-solving seeds, “I wonder how you are going to handle a situation like this in the future.” Or, if we are really concerned about our child’s emotional or physical safety, we can check in about what they need, “This seems like a serious situation. Do you feel like this is something that needs to be communicated to your teacher? How can I support you in getting some help?” Non-interference doesn’t mean neglect or ignoring something serious. Instead, we are focusing on encouraging our children to talk about their feelings without solving the problem for them, offering perspective or guidance only when asked, and observing from a distance unless safety is at risk. If we recognize red flags (such as ongoing bullying or harmful behaviors), we can step in thoughtfully by collaborating with our children to find solutions, which may include consulting with teachers or counselors if necessary. Ideally, this is done with our children’s awareness so they aren’t blindsided by others knowing what they shared with us, especially if they thought they were sharing it in confidence. A Developmental Necessity Ultimately, our children learn to navigate the complexities of human relationships through their own experiences. The ups and downs of social interactions are opportunities for growth in emotional resilience, conflict resolution skills, understanding social boundaries, empathy, problem-solving, and independence and confidence. Think about the many benefits. Social setbacks, such as disagreements or feelings of exclusion, help children cope with disappointment and bounce back. Arguments and misunderstandings teach children how to resolve conflicts constructively. Through trial and error, our children learn to negotiate, apologize, and compromise—skills essential for healthy relationships throughout life. They learn about boundaries and how we all impact each other in different ways, leading to insights into different perspectives and feelings. Social challenges push children to think creatively about how to navigate tricky situations. Each successful navigation of a social challenge reinforces our children’s belief in their ability to handle similar situations in the future. This builds self-esteem and independence and helps our children realize they don’t always need an adult to solve their problems. By stepping back and allowing children to experience and work through these situations on their own, we give our children the space to develop essential life skills. The key is to provide a supportive environment where children feel safe to share their feelings and seek advice. A Foundation for the Future Rest assured, our children have an amazing ability to learn and grow from social experiences. By not interfering in our children’s social lives, we show a tremendous act of love that empowers them to build the skills they’ll need for lifelong social success. Remember, childhood social interactions lay the foundation for future relationships in school, work, and personal life. Navigating these early challenges helps children develop teamwork, compromise, and emotional intelligence skills that will benefit them throughout their lives. Our children need us to let the process unfold, avoid getting involved, and support their problem-solving. In doing so, we are sending our children an important message that we believe in them and their ability to handle challenges. Interested in learning more? Schedule a visit to see how our classrooms support healthy social learning.